


Around

by Kasz



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Roller Coasters, Slow Burn, siyoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27229501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasz/pseuds/Kasz
Summary: She fell for her best friend but kept it a secret from her because there's so many at stake. That is, until one slip of her tongue crumbled all of her efforts. Now, she needs to fix the mess that she created.
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> * English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes  
> * This is my first DC fic, please bear with me hahah

She swirled the half-empty cup of coffee in her hand, feeling the liquid made a small wave in it. She focused on the feeling for a while, getting lost in her thoughts. A tap on her shoulder startled her but she didn’t move, she already knew who the person was. She felt the person sat next to her. They sat in silence, acknowledging each other's needs for the peaceful silence after their bustling day at work. On the table behind her, a lot of photos were scattered on its surface. The monitor on it was still displaying an opened editing app. The room was dim, but the city lights illuminated it through the glass wall. From there they could see the lights decorated the city in various colours from many windows and the cars on the street. Yet, one stood out the most.

Not far in front of them, there was a giant LED display on top of the city’s tallest tower. An advertisement for a luxury perfume brand was displayed on it. The model was wearing a black dress with bold and glossy makeup. Her bang framed her perfectly sculpted face. Her hairstyle accentuated her chin and jawline. Streaks of orange and pink were highlighting her straight dark brown hair. On her hand was a bouquet of yellow roses, held close to her face. Her eyes were grey, thanks to the lenses she wore. It looked as if she was looking right at whoever laid their eyes on the picture. The nation’s face, she heard people said.

The picture was a result of her work and she was proud of it. She was proud to say that she’s one of the top photographers in her country. The hard work that she had been doing since she was a teenager bore this sweet fruit. The path that was rough and full of obstacles made her cherish her hard-earned job now.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked without looking or specifying anything.

The person next to her turned to look at her, throwing a questioning glance. However, seeing that she didn’t notice or pretend not to, she answered briefly, “It is.”

Silence occupied the room once more, engulfing the two occupants of the room. It felt heavy but neither made an effort to cut it. She emptied her cup and sat up, dusting her pants with one hand. She moved towards her desk to tidy it up.

“Singnie,” the person behind her called her by her nickname softly.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I’ll take care of it,” The person continued.

“It’s okay, Bora. You know I have to.” She kept tidying her desk without looking at her best friend.

It was alright. She knew she had to go. Her conscience wouldn’t let her otherwise. Bora had a point. She knew her ever since they were on a diaper, knowing each other like the back of their hand. There’s no need for an explanation for anything. Just one subtle glance or touch, they already knew what the other was thinking. It’s sometimes had its downside, though. Just like this time. She wished Bora couldn't read her mind just this once so that she could dwell on her thoughts alone. She didn’t mind if Bora knew everything about her, mostly. But how come Bora knew her thoughts if she didn’t know what was in her thought herself? She couldn’t accept it. She was wondering, why can’t she know herself more than how Bora knows her?

“I’m done here. Are you coming?” 

“Sure,” Bora rose from the floor to follow her.

***

They arrived at a popular restaurant on the outskirts of their beautiful city. The place was almost full of people around their age, seemingly enjoying the evening air in an outdoor concept restaurant surrounded by trees and greeneries. A waiter greeted them by the entrance, asking if they already had a reservation.

“Yes, in the name of Yubin Lee,” Bora answered the waiter.

They were ushered to the more secluded part of the restaurant. It was a long table surrounded by bushes as the divider between the tables. Some people already occupied it. Chattering voices and laughter could be heard from where they sat. She thanked the waiter and sat on one of the chairs. Bora’s loud voice thundered through the air, making the chattering stopped temporarily. She flashed an apologetic smile at them, although it seemed unnecessary because their friends were already accustomed to Bora’s loudness anyway. She noticed that some of her friends hadn’t arrived yet. 

She drank the view of her surroundings. A gentle breeze hung in the air, tickling the surface of her exposed skin. Bora and Gahyeon were bickering about the menu they wanted to choose while Yubin was trying to be the middle ground for the two explosive personalities. She was grateful that she had her friends with her. As much as she tried to pretend that she hated them whenever the chance presents, she didn’t want to trade their chaotic mess for anything. The waiter came to their table again, bringing Minji and Handong this time. Minji didn’t hesitate to take the vacant seat next to her, grabbing her hand along the way, and greeted her with a smile that could rival the brightest ray of the sun. Handong gracefully took the seat next to Yubin, which the latter welcomed with a toothy grin. She just chuckled at the sight, seeing the obvious attraction between the two but somehow they both were oblivious towards the tension themselves.

“See something interesting?” 

She didn’t realise that Minji was looking at her until she heard her question. Instead of answering, she just smiled. Minji nodded in understanding, eyes looking back and forth from her and their oblivious friends. 

“Minji, Singnie, pick your order.” Seemingly done with their bickering session, Bora shoved the menu to Minji and turned to Gahyeon again. She let Minji choose their order, knowing that they had a similar preference for foods in general. 

“Yoohyeon is unusually late, did she tell you where she is?” Minji’s question brought back uneasiness that she had tried to suppress since this afternoon. She tried to mentally shake the feeling that’s resurfacing from her mind.

“I don’t know. We haven’t talked since yesterday.”

“Oh, it’s her.” She followed Minji’s gaze to the entrance of the restaurant. 

Outside of the entrance, two people were facing each other, seemingly engrossed in their talking, and one of them was Yoohyeon. She was smiling at whatever the person next to her was saying. She felt a sting in her chest seeing her beautiful and innocent smile. Not long after, the other person left Yoohyeon and disappeared from Siyeon’s view. She saw Yoohyeon waved briefly in the direction that the person disappeared into, then she entered the restaurant. 

“Yooh, here!” Minji waved at her.

“Sorry, I’m late. Have you guys ordered?” Yoohyeon plopped her body on the chair across her. She saw Siyeon eyeing her and threw her wide puppy smile which was reciprocated but with less intensity. 

“We were just choosing our food. Why didn’t Jae join us?” Minji gave her the menu. Yoohyeon mumbled a quick _thank you_ to her.

“He has to practise tonight, but he said hello to you guys.” She said as she scanned the menu. 

_Oh_. So that’s why, does that mean he will join if he has the time? The mere thought of it brought the sting back to her chest but she tried her best to ignore the sensation. Thankfully, Yubin asked her something related to the music that she’s currently arranging, and she gladly answered. 

The evening went by uneventfully, at least in Siyeon’s view. It was hard to find free time to spend together as a group since they became adults. Works and responsibilities were always getting in the way. In this rare chance, they usually shared the details of how their lives went when they were not together. Some just wanted to rant about their work, co-worker, or the people in general. A day like this one is what kept their friendship strong despite their busy life.

She excused herself to go to the toilet before they went home. She fixed her hair on the mirror, tidying the hair that seemed to go all over the place. She likes her short blue hair. It makes her feel more confident and lighter. Not to mention that it’s also low in maintenance which her lazy-self always seeks in everyday life. She stood by the sink, staring at her reflection. The woman in the mirror looked tired and stiff, distant, and cold. She splashed some water on her face, silently thanking the waterproof makeup she wore earlier. If not because of it, she would have a hard time. Her hand reached for the tissue container. She patted her face gently to dry it. After throwing the now wet tissue, she blew a long exhale to relax, easing the tension that she unconsciously had during the dinner. 

The door of the toilet opened, revealing Minji in all her glory. Now that they were standing facing each other, she can see her better. Minji wore a cream turtleneck tucked in her faded blue skinny jeans and layered with a chocolate suede jacket. Her blonde hair flowed freely and rounded glasses nested on her face perfectly. She looked radiant especially when she was sporting her famous dazzling smile on her face. She looked like an angel, or what the books and the people believe how an angel looks like anyway. 

“You okay?” A look of concern painted on Minji’s face. Ah, right, trust Minji to know how to read people around her. Her judgements were always correct even before she took psychology as her chosen course. She didn’t know what to answer, lying would be useless but saying the truth would only gain more questions she didn’t want to answer. So, she settled with a nod.

Minji seemed unsatisfied with her answer. Her eyebrows furrowed. “What's bothering you? Or rather, who?”

"It's…." She dragged, not sure if she should tell the truth or not. 

Sensing that Siyeon was reluctant in uttering her thoughts, Minji sighed. She knew the answer anyway.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I'm sorry," was all Siyeon could say at the moment. She was sorry about so many things; about her sombre mood all evening, about not being able to tell Minji anything, and about ruining Minji's smile. The list could go on if she's thinking harder, but she didn't want to, afraid of the length of it.

"It's okay. Just know that you can talk to me about anything. I'll be here," Minji reassured her. Her smile was back and Siyeon swore that she saw her eyes twinkling. "Let's go, the others are waiting." Minji pointed at the door behind her using her thumb.

"Okay."

Before she even took a step towards the door, Minji stopped her. "Wait."

"What is it?" 

"You have tissues stuck on your face," Minji giggled.

"Oh," Siyeon frantically touched her face, trying to find the tissue that Minji's talking about.

"Here, let me help you." Minji gently pulled Siyeon's hand from her face. Using her other hand, she cleaned Siyeon's face from the remnants of the tissues. From her peripheral vision, she saw the mirror reflecting Minji's face full of concentration. The door opened once again, now revealing the person that she tried to hide from the entire night.

Yoohyeon stopped on her track, seemingly shocked from what she saw, or in this case, didn’t see. Siyeon's eyes went wide. She knew how it might look like from Yoohyeon's view. It's like Minji was holding Siyeon's hand with one hand while the other was hovering on her face, leaning as if trying to kiss her, which of course not true at all. Siyeon backed off immediately from Minji, creating more space between them.

Sensing that she stood frozen a bit too long, Yoohyeon cleared her throat, addressing the two toilet occupants. Minji who wasn't aware that they're not alone anymore snapped her head towards Yoohyeon. 

"Oh, Yooh, you startled me!" She retracted her hand from Siyeon's face to her chest.

"Are you guys done? The others are waiting at the parking lot already." Yoohyeon tried to look at anything but them. 

"We were about to go," Siyeon told her.

"Let's go then," Minji said after recovering from her shock. 

Yoohyeon was the first one to get out, followed by Minji and Siyeon. The trip to the parking lot was quieter than usual. Yoohyeon walked a bit rushing and still refused to look at her friends with a terrible effort to hide her uncomfortable posture. Minji, who usually talked a lot, was only humming to the song that came out from the restaurant’s audio system. Siyeon could only keep quiet and lost in her train of thoughts. 

"There they are," Gahyeon informed the rest of her friends. She hopped off from the hood of Yubin's car.

"Singnie, I'll go with Gahyeon and Yubin. Need to drop by the studio first." 

"I can drive you there if you want. I don't mind."

"No, it'll be tiring. Your apartment is in the opposite direction. Besides, I think I'm gonna crash at Gahyeon's place tonight." Bora tried to explain. 

Siyeon's brain was suddenly alarmed by the outcome of this conversation. If Bora won’t ride with her that means she'll be left alone to drive with Yoohyeon. After Bora said that, her friends waved their byes one by one, with the three leaving first followed by Minji and Handong. She watched them leave until their cars were out of the parking lot then turned her attention to the only person standing next to her.

"Let's go."

Yoohyeon didn't say anything but followed her nonetheless. Siyeon unlocked her car with a push of a button, walked to the passenger's door, and opened it for Yoohyeon. The ride to Yoohyeon's home was filled with silence. It was awkward, uncomfortable. The road was busy at this hour, full of people who wanted to spend their evening out of their home and some who just got out of their overtime work, making their ride slower than usual. 

Siyeon drummed her fingers on the steering wheel while waiting for the light to turn green. It somehow helped her to divert her attention from thinking about the earlier event. She saw Yoohyeon rested her head on the window with eyes unfocused, getting lost in her thoughts.

“How’s your day?” She asked, making Yoohyeon snap out of her trance.

“Nothing interesting, just a few photoshoot schedules and an interview.” 

Before Siyeon asked another question, they were interrupted by a ringing from Yoohyeon’s phone. She offered an apologetic smile before answering the phone. Siyeon changed her focus to the road ahead of her, wanting to give Yoohyeon a little bit of privacy. She heard a faint male voice from the speaker. The conversation was brief. As soon as it ended, Yoohyeon turned her attention to Siyeon again.

“Was that Jae?” Siyeon couldn’t resist her curiosity.

“Yes.”

“How are you and him?” Siyeon mentally scolded herself for asking that. Why did she ask for something that would hurt herself? If there’s a competition for the most stupid human in the world, she could be a nominee. However, to her defence, she reasoned that knowing where their relationship stands could help her to forget her feelings easily. Then again, she’s a fool for thinking that it was that simple.

“We’re good. He’s a good man.” Yoohyeon answered with a bit of hesitation. There was this feeling that she wanted to say something more but she restrained herself. 

“Good then.”

Another silence settled between them. Siyeon’s effort to make small talk was futile. How did it go this way, though? They weren’t like this before. When she looked back a few weeks ago, the situation was different. Small talk came freely, and silence didn’t feel suffocating. Everything came easy between them. They would laugh because of silly things the other said, walking hand in hand or stupidly planning mischievous activities to prank their friends. It felt like they were never growing up, a kid at heart.

Then she remembered. A few weeks ago, Yoohyeon started to bail from their meeting routine, saying that she had an emergency photo shoot. At first, Siyeon let it slide. They're adults with responsibilities in their hands, so it's normal to prioritize their work. Then came the second bail, followed by another, and another. Siyeon tried to understand, really, but the disappointment slipped through the back of her mind. It came to the point that she wouldn't put the tiniest bit of hope on their plan together. Because hope could only bring more disappointment, and she couldn't bear any more of it.

One morning, she lazily browsed through her phone looking for any inspiration for her next photoshoot when she found the news. The headline said, _'The Nation's Face Worms Her Way To The Nation's Rising Star's Heart"._ She couldn't believe that there could be so many wrongs in one sentence until she read it, from the poor choice of words, the people involved, the misogynistic sentiment, and of course the feelings involved, especially hers after she read it. Below the title, there was a blurry picture of Yoohyeon and possibly, _The Nation's Rising Star,_ Jae spotted leaving from a fancy restaurant.

Siyeon never asked Yoohyeon about the news, afraid of the answer that she might receive from it. So, she waited. She waited for Yoohyeon to tell her, anything. Maybe a simple sorry for hiding this from her if it was true, or clarification if it wasn't. Days passed without Yoohyeon saying anything. She thought it was alright, this would happen sooner or later. Yoohyeon will find someone and be with them. She thought she had prepared herself for this, but it turned out that her preparations weren't enough to cushion the fall. Not when somewhere along the way, she was catching feelings for her best friend.

At first, she thought she loved all of her friends equally. They’re her sisters that she didn’t have, her family. She didn’t know when was the first time she found Yoohyeon’s smile made her feel warm, her touch created tingles on her skin, her voice sounded like a beautiful melody on her ears and her scent smelt like home which Siyeon wanted to come home to every night. She tried hard to erase it, she did. There were so many risks involved. She had everything to lose if she chose to act on her feelings. She didn’t want to break the bond of their friendship and disappoint her friends. She’s scared to lose them.

She started to detach herself from her friends because whenever she’s with them, that meant Yoohyeon was too. She heard her friends often complaining about it but she turned a blind eye. However, she couldn’t evade Bora. Among all her friends, Bora was the most persistent and stubborn. She’s relentlessly demanding for an answer and keeps bugging her until she yields. She told her everything from the beginning; her doubt, her fear, her feelings, all of it. She cried on Bora’s warm embrace that night, quietly grateful to have her by her side. Since then, she had helped her to forget about her feelings, albeit momentarily. She took her for a walk, ate outside and played games in their free time. 

Minji was another story. She was observant enough to know what’s going on. One night when they were alone, enjoying dinner at Minji’s home, Minji voiced out her suspicion. Seeing that there’s no use to lie, she confessed, just like what she did with Bora. There were no tears this time as if she's already used to it, but Minji still wrapped her in a warm hug anyway. When Bora was not around, Minji would make sure to stay close to her, shielding her from her intrusive thoughts with her radiant smile and warmth. Sometimes she wondered, will it be easier if she falls for them instead? Will it be different? However, she couldn’t bring herself to think about it too deeply. No, she couldn’t.

“Are you and Minji dating?” 

“What? No!” Siyeon’s eyes went wide. Later she realized that she answered Yoohyeon louder than necessary. She saw Yoohyeon startled, almost jumped from her seat. “I mean, no. Why did you think like that?” She lowered her voice as close as she could to normal.

“It’s… you two got closer these past few weeks and…” she hesitated, fiddling the hem of her blouse and looked away from Siyeon when she continued, “you two were… in the toilet… just now… you…”

“Okay, stop. We don’t. I don’t know what makes you think like that but nothing is going on between us.” She held her palm out to stop Yoohyeon from talking. She thought it’s ridiculous. The only one she likes is her, not Bora nor Minji, why can’t she realise that? 

"I'm sorry for assuming. But if you need to talk about anything, you can count on me." 

Siyeon impulsively scoffed. A look of disbelief plastered on her face. Her self-control was wearing thin. All she wanted to do right now was to shout on Yoohyeon's face about everything that she felt from the last couple of weeks. She wasn't angry, more like, irritated. The feelings in her chest had bottled up like a time-ticking bomb, ready to explode. She saw a flash of hurt on Yoohyeon's face and felt guilty for being the cause of it. However, she was too far gone to restrain herself to say, "Then where were you this past few weeks?"

Yoohyeon didn’t seem to expect her blunt question. She saw Yoohyeon trying to regain her composure, but Siyeon’s mood already affected her. “If you haven’t noticed, I have a job too, you know. I already apologized for it. I thought you understood how the industry works because you’re a part of it. I’m sorry if you think I’m selfish for doing my job and not sparing enough time for my best friends. But I’m trying to make up for it, to all of you! You know how important our friendship is to me.”

Yoohyeon’s burst planted deeper guilt to her core. She regretted her impulsive words but it’s too late to take it back. She felt pathetic and selfish. And now she hurt Yoohyeon, the first thing she shouldn’t do. Yoohyeon looked away from her, trying to hide the sadness, anger, and guilt which were present on her face, pretending to watch the familiar road of her neighbourhood that came to her view. Siyeon glanced at her a few times, silently trying to catch her attention. This conversation was long overdue, but she surely didn’t expect it to turn into a mess like this.

“I’m sorry, that was selfish of me. I shouldn’t have said that to you. And you’re right, I should’ve known it better. But I was hoping that you could at least tell me about Jae.”

Hearing her saying that, Yoohyeon abruptly snapped her head. “That’s it? You are mad at me just because I didn’t tell you anything about Jae?” 

“ _Just because_? I thought we promised that we would tell each other anything?”

The heightened tension inside the car had become unbearable for both of them. Neither of them wanted to back off from their arguments. When the car came to stop in front of her house, Yoohyeon got out of the car immediately and slammed the door, leaving Siyeon stunned. She was contemplating the option of following Yoohyeon and, this time, sincerely apologize to her or just leave. But being the fool that she was, she chose to leave instead. Her ego and fear didn’t let her gather the will to face Yoohyeon.

After seeing Yoohyeon practically slammed the door of her house closed, she revved her engine and drove away as fast as she could.


	2. Chapter 2

“What happened to you and Yoohyeon?” Gahyeon asked her one afternoon when they were taking a stroll at the river bank.

“What do you mean?”

“I might look insensitive but I’m not blind. Now, tell me.”

Siyeon feigned innocence but Gahyeon wasn’t fooled. She took a long exhale before answering, “We argued.”

Gahyeon was waiting for her to elaborate on her statement, but Siyeon was just mum. She sighed, knowing that it was all she'd hear from the blue-haired girl.

“I trust that you two can sort your differences like you always did, you just have to talk it out. Nothing good will come from ignoring each other.” Gahyeon’s voice rang in her ears. 

Siyeon felt pathetic and useless. Gahyeon, the youngest in her friend circle, was more sensible than her. Siyeon should be the one guiding her, not the other way around. But here she was, standing idly while Gahyeon was knocking some sense into her thick skull. She already thought about it before Gahyeon said that. It was all she could think about these days. She just didn’t dare to make the first step. Both of them avoid each other like a plague, whenever they meet and the tension is too palpable to their friends to not notice. 

"Yeah, I know," she answered in a noncommittal manner. 

“Come on,” Gahyeon dragged her voice, “It’s been weeks. How long are you gonna keep this up?”

“I’ll try, Gahyeon. I’ll try.”

***

She was looking at her screen, editing the picture that she just took from her last photoshoot. A half-eaten sandwich could be spotted on the edge of her desk, along with a half-empty cup of iced Americano that she bought in the morning. Her concentration was disturbed by the vibration coming from her phone. She reached out blindly using her left hand, diving through the stack of papers and photos, until she finally caught the solid edge of her phone case. After sliding the green button, she put the phone on her ear.

"Yes?"

"Siyeon, I need a favour." Yubin's voice could be heard from the speaker.

"What is it?"

"I promised to pick Yoohyeon up but my car broke down on the way. I called the others but they're busy. Could you pick her up, please?"

"But, Yubin….,"

"Please, Siyeon. I tried to reach her but her phone died. She must be waiting for me already." She could hear the distress in Yubin's voice.

"Alright, send me the location." She sighed, seeing that she couldn't refuse Yubin's request.

"Thank you, Siyeon. I owe you one. I'll send it right away." 

The line went dead after she said it. But it didn't take long for her phone to beep when Yubin sent her an address. She sighed once more and saved her works. Guess it's time for her to face her problem now, no backing down. She grabbed her coat that's hanging on her chair and left her studio.

She parked her car near the entrance of what seemed like a warehouse. Yoohyeon must be somewhere around here, she only needs to find her, that is. She decided to ask the people around the warehouse about Yoohyeon’s whereabouts. A petite woman came to her view carrying, what it seemed like, a makeup box and she stopped her.

“Excuse me, do you know where Kim Yoohyeon is?”

“She’s in the dressing room,” the woman answered hurriedly. She was gone before Siyeon could thank her.

Now that she knows where to go, she only needs to find the said dressing room. It wasn’t hard to find the room because there was a huge sign that said ‘dressing room’ etched on the door farthest from the warehouse’s entrance. She knocked on the door briefly before entering. The room was empty, save for a few racks of clothes and two long mirrors. She heard rustles behind the racks and someone cursed after a loud thud.

"Yoohyeon?"

"Here." She noticed that the rustles quiet down for a second before it began to continue again.

"You okay there?" She asked a bit worriedly. There's no one inside the room so the loud thud she heard earlier must've come from Yoohyeon.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Yoohyeon shouted from the back.

The reassurance didn't last long as she heard another thud followed by a few cursings. She instinctively bolted to Yoohyeon's directions and found her in an uncomfortable pose, hands behind her shoulder while sitting awkwardly on the edge of the vanity desk. Frustration could be seen on her face and beads of sweat trickled down her temple. When she saw Siyeon, she smiled sheepishly. Siyeon couldn’t help but mirrored her smile while gradually walking to her. Without making any comments, she helped Yoohyeon untangle her hair from the dress that she was trying to take off. 

“Thanks,” Yoohyeon's small voice filled the empty room.

Now that the dress had been taken care of, she realized that Yoohyeon only wore a black camisole underneath it. She unconsciously gulped and looked away. She shouldn’t be like this, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. She should act ‘normal’, so much for trying to be inconspicuous. She looked at Yoohyeon again and focused on her face, which honestly didn’t help much because it made her feel more nervous.

“You should’ve asked if you need help,” she masked her nervousness with a chuckle. “Dami told me to pick you up because her car broke down. She tried to tell you but your phone is off it seems.” She explained to Yoohyeon.

“Oh, I forgot to charge it last night. Thanks for coming, though. I probably will have to take a cab if you don’t.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll wait outside, take your time,” she dismissed Yoohyeon’s thanks and left the room. She didn’t know if she could keep her cool if she stayed inside any longer. She sat on a bench just outside the room to collect herself.

After a while, the door opened revealing Yoohyeon who, thankfully, already put on her brown sweater. She looked different from Yoohyeon a few minutes ago. With hair tied up in a high ponytail, her bangs parted on the left side, and round glasses perched on her pointy nose, she looked so pure, simply beautiful in Siyeon’s eyes.

“I’m done. Let’s go,” she offered Siyeon her signature smile.

“Let me help you with that.” Siyeon took a paper bag that Yoohyeon held.

“I haven’t eaten yet. Do you mind getting some meals first?” 

“Okay, what do you have in mind?” 

“I’m craving for spicy chicken feet.” Yoohyeon squealed a little when she said that. _Cute._

“Chicken feet it is.” She quickly agreed to Yoohyeon’s idea.

She was surprised that they can have this light conversation. It felt that everything came back to normal again.

***

“I’m so full.” Yoohyeon slouched on the chair, her limbs sprawled out on her side. In Siyeon’s eyes she looked like an octopus, although Siyeon’s condition was no better than her, she giggled.

“You’re a fool?” she teased the younger one.

“I-, what? No, I’m ‘full’, not ‘fool’. Full, f-u-l-l!” Yoohyeon spelt the word to cross her point. She playfully pouted and tried to appear offended but failed miserably.

“I get it, I get it. You’re a fool.” She kept teasing. 

She got herself a set of playful hits and groans from Yoohyeon but they laughed afterwards. It came easy; their laughter, their banter, their conversation. They forgot their problem for a while. It took a while for their laughter to die down. They looked at each other with smiles on their face while a comfortable silence settled between them. A contented sigh escaped from her mouth.

“I missed this,” she said out of the blue.

“Me too.”

“I guess I should apologize properly to you this time,” she started. “I’m sorry for being mad at you. I should’ve respected your privacy and just waited for you to share when you were ready.” She looked directly into Yoohyeon’s brown orbs, too focused and determined to notice that she unconsciously pinched the back of her hand.

Yoohyeon leaned forward and reached for Siyeon’s hand, caressing it using her thumb. “I’m sorry too. I know we promised to tell each other anything, but I’m too scared to share. I’ll try not to disappoint you next time,” she said with sincerity evident in her voice.

“We’re cool then?” Siyeon held her pinkie.

“We’re cool,” Yoohyeon entwined her pinkie to hers. 

Wide smiles appeared on both of their faces, so wide that it hurt their cheeks. It felt so good to make up with Yoohyeon again. It had been a while and she missed her so much. She didn’t care if she needed to bury her hopes six feet under later on. She will enjoy every second of her time if it means that she can spend more time with Yoohyeon smiling at her like this. She just hopes that she will be strong enough to go through it all.

“So,” she dragged, “when will you tell me about Jae?” 

Yoohyeon’s face fell at the mention of the name. She instantly regretted her choice to question her. Had she known that it’ll erase her favourite smile, she won't ask about it. “It didn’t work. One of the reasons I didn’t tell you about him was because I wasn’t sure about it myself.”

“Did something happen?” she asked, a hint of worry evident in her voice.

“No, not like that. It just didn’t feel right. He is a good man and all, but I feel like something is missing. Or maybe he’s just not for me.” Yoohyeon stared off into space while stirring her milkshake with the straw.

_I hope I’m the one for you._

“What?” Yoohyeon snapped her head to her.

“What’s what?” Siyeon furrowed her eyebrows, confused by Yoohyeon's sudden burst.

“You just said something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She was still confused, but her mind already drifted to her previous thought. 

_Crap._

She cursed herself inwardly. Was she just thinking out loud? The thought sent chills around her body and her mind went into a panic mode. What should she do? She forced herself to think about a plausible reason to get Yoohyeon off the topic. How she hates her brain in a time like this. She hates how quickly her brain creates stupid impulses but stops working when she needs it the most. She needed to buy her some time to think.

"Did.. did I say something weird?" She stuttered. With Yoohyeon's gaze never left her, her mind short-circuited.

"You said something about hope."

She mentally slapped herself. What an idiot! Why did she always cause her doom? What excuse should she tell Yoohyeon now?

"Siyeon," Yoohyeon paused, seemingly contemplating what to say next. "Do you, perhaps, like me?"

She felt the world crashed before her. Her secret was out in the open now. Yoohyeon knows now, all of her efforts to hide it goes down the drain. She was fidgeting on her seat, afraid of saying anything. She didn't know how to go from here. Should she admit it or just deny it all? What would happen to their friendship after this? Yoohyeon's undecipherable gaze prevented her from reading her thoughts. At least if she could read it, she could make her way out of this mess. She knew Yoohyeon never objected to her friends' sexualities, she's rather a supportive one. But, will it make any difference if she's involved in it? Because all of the time she spent with her, she witnessed Yoohyeon only had been in a relationship with men. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered slowly. 

“Oh.”

She waited for a while, but that was all Yoohyeon said. If anything, Yoohyeon’s reaction, or the lack of it, made her worst fear come true. She must’ve been thinking of how to turn Siyeon down gently. She’s always been that considerate, a quality that made Siyeon like her more. If she had to be honest, it pained her. She felt invisible needles sticking on her chest. The silence dragged longer than she liked and made her squirm on her seat.

“Yoohyeon, I-” she was going to say something but Yoohyeon abruptly stood. “Where are you going?”

“I-, let’s go home.”

“But-,”

“It’s alright, you don’t need to drive me. I can take a cab.” Yoohyeon grabbed her bag and walked away, making her heart sink at the sight.

“Yoohyeon, wait!” She took a long stride to follow her, but Yoohyeon seemed to purposely ignore her call. “Yoohyeon!” She saw Yoohyeon slowed her pace. When she reached her, she continued, “I’ll drive you home. I don’t want Yubin to nag at me later. At least let me do that.” It was a poor attempt of an excuse, but she couldn’t care less. She wasn’t lying about getting Yubin’s nag, though. 

Yoohyeon didn’t answer her and just nodded. She didn’t even look at her and always found a way to avoid her eyes as much as possible. She felt her heart bleeding, but she put up a tough front, numbing the pain. She didn’t want to look more pathetic than she already was.

The ride to Yoohyeon’s home felt longer than usual, mainly because neither of them bothered to break the awkward atmosphere inside the car. She stole glances from time to time, pretending to scan the road. Yoohyeon leaned her head on the car’s window with a crestfallen look on her face. She tried to strike a conversation, anything but this choking silence, but she stopped herself before words even left her mouth. The car slowed down and stopped right outside of Yoohyeon’s house.

“Thank you.” Yoohyeon briefly said to her and quickly got out of the car.

The door of her car slammed shut with a thud. She followed Yoohyeon’s back until it disappeared inside her house. She groaned and hit her head against the steering wheel repeatedly. So much for wanting to make things better, what an idiot.


	3. Chapter 3

“You do hear that I wanted you to make up with Yoohyeon, not the other way around, right?” Gahyeon strolled her way inside her studio with Handong in tow.

“Not now, Gahyeon.” She ran her palm on her face and sighed loudly. Since when her friends decided that it was a great time to remind her that she was an idiot? Her works were piling up and the pressure of it, adding with the amount of stress from her problem made her skull almost explode, almost. 

“Then when is the right time, Siyeon? Seriously, what happened to you two?” Handong chimed in.

" _Never_ sounds like the right time," she answered sarcastically.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny."

"Why are you two here anyway?"

"Duh, we miss you. You bailed on our last dinner night and you didn't even play Overwatch with me, at all!" Gahyeon burst out with such a high intensity that can only be rivalled by Bora.

"But my workplace out of all places?" 

"We tried to meet you outside of your studio, but you vanished like smoke as soon as your work time was over. It's either you're here or you're nowhere. So, you didn't give us much choice." Gahyeon spoke fervently, almost like rapping.

She stood up from her seat, walking past them to reach for the coffee she put on the shelf earlier. How she wished she bought whiskey instead. Gahyeon and Handong already sat on the stools that they got from the corner of the studio. They had the right to be mad at her. It was her first time bailing from their regular meet up because she couldn't find the courage to face Yoohyeon or any judgment from her friends, not in the meantime. 

She drowned herself in her works and wandered aimlessly to search for a peaceful mind by taking her camera everywhere she went. Photography was her only way out at the moment. She kept in touch with her friends through text messages but she would ghost them when they tried to bring the topic of her avoidance. She was a coward, she admitted it. She didn't like confrontation.

"You know that you can tell us anything, right?" Handong looked at her with a kind, understanding smile, as if she already knew what's going on.

"I know. It's just, it's hard for me to bring that up."

"Bring what up?" Gahyeon peppered her, eyes bouncing between her and Handong. 

She traced her cup sleeve, pondering whether she should tell them the details or not. She probably could handle Handong’s reaction just fine, but she doubted Gahyeon’s reaction to her problem. Gahyeon tends to have a ‘loud reaction’ that she’s sure will cause her more anxiety than relief. They looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. At the last second, she exhaled loudly and pushed her doubts away. She needed to let it out and sooner or later people would know, just like Yoohyeon did. She pulled another stool and started to tell them her story. When she finished, Handong nodded and hugged her while Gahyeon kept silent with her hand covering her mouth. If the situation was different, she would find it funny and tease her about it.

“I need a moment to process this,” Gahyeon said, still taken aback by what she heard.

"I'm sorry, guys. I know I caused so many problems by acting this way. But I'll try to fix the mess I've created." She said guiltily, head hung low and eyes twitched brimming with tears.

"I think you two should talk it out, for real this time." Handong stroked her hair.

"But she's avoiding me now.”

“From the way that you told us earlier, you let anger and fear cloud your judgment. That’s why you ended up fighting all the time. Next time, try to keep your anger and fear in check when talking to her. I’m sure Yoohyeon was just confused and didn’t mean to do that.”

“Dongie is right. If you two won’t talk it out, it’s going to be worse,” Gahyeon said as she stood up and later hugged her too. “Just so you know that we will be here, always. We don’t want to choose between you two.”

She was silent. Her friend’s words made her think about the choices she made these past few months, of how many damages she had created because of her selfishness. Now her friends were getting affected, their friendship. It was all because of her stupid feelings that she felt. But here were her friends, kept supporting her, giving her advice and comforting hugs. She felt like she didn’t deserve them. In her head, she silently promised that she would fix her mess, for her friends and for herself too.

***

“All right, that’s a wrap. Thank you for your hard work everyone.” She bowed to the staff and the models of the photoshoot. 

She took a long exhale, releasing the tension of today’s work from her body. The photoshoot was a long one. She would be lying if she said it didn’t exhaust her but she was happy and grateful to have her passion as a job. Not long after, she finished packing up and got ready to leave. Today’s photoshoot was taking place at a famous agency’s studio and she was planning to edit the pictures she took as soon as possible. A train of ideas to edit the pictures were already running on her mind. 

She was too focused on the project that she didn’t realise she hadn’t had her lunch. It’s almost dinner time soon and she was craving for Tteokbokki. She checked her phone to find the nearest Tteokbokki restaurant around and thought about inviting her friends. However, she stopped on her track when she saw Yoohyeon emerging from one of the rooms. They stood frozen, looking at each other, clearly not expecting that they would meet here. Yoohyeon looked stunningly angelic in her long-sleeve white crop top and jeans. Siyeon almost couldn’t control herself not to ogle like a creep. 

“Hi,” Siyeon greeted her awkwardly. 

“Siyeon, what are you doing here?” Yoohyeon asked in a curious tone.

Ah, right, she forgot that this is Yoohyeon’s agency, of course, she will be here too. She didn’t expect to bump into her, though. She knew the model was busier these days, thanks to their group chat. 

"I just finished a photoshoot here." She put her hands in her coat pocket out of nervousness. “Are you going home?” She asked as she noticed Yoohyeon’s bag.

“Yes.”

“Okay then, be careful on your way home,” she said, wanting to get out of the awkward situation quickly. It was true that she was planning to talk to Yoohyeon, but she wasn’t ready. She waved to Yoohyeon briefly and walked away. 

“Siyeon, wait,” Yoohyeon called her before she reached the elevator. She turned around and saw Yoohyeon was walking towards her. “Do you want to have coffee? Only if you’re free, of course."

Siyeon's eyes widened. She didn't expect that Yoohyeon would talk to her first, let alone asking her for coffee.

"No. Ah, I mean no, I'm not busy. Sure, let's go," She said almost incoherently.

"Is the coffee shop on the first floor alright?" Yoohyeon smiled and didn't comment anything about her rambling earlier, saving her from further embarrassment. She couldn't trust her voice, so she only answered with a nod. "Let's go then."

They kept silent on the way to the coffee shop. She followed Yoohyeon like a lost puppy, which was ironic, considering that Yoohyeon was known for her infamous puppy personality and she, a wolf. Yoohyeon was strangely poised, just like the persona she exuded on stage. If she didn’t know her better, she would think that this was the model’s original personality, but she knew it wasn’t. Yoohyeon only acted like this around them whenever she’s nervous, a habit that she observed since the day she knew her. She couldn’t help but wonder, what could possibly make her nervous? A few possibilities came up in her mind but she didn’t want to ponder about it.

“I’ll buy the drinks, you go find us a seat,” Yoohyeon said as soon as they arrived.

“Okay.”

She scanned the shop to find a table and chose the one near the window. The sky outside was getting dark. The cold artificial light was starting to replace the warm sunlight. She loved the night. There was this feeling of tranquillity that came with it. The gentle drop of temperature calmed her mind. She had a dream to someday escape this busy city and live in the countryside so that she can stargaze to her heart's content. Someday, with the love of her life. She chuckled at the thought. If her friends knew they’d probably teased her to no end. A romantic Siyeon, something rare.

“Here’s your Americano.” Yoohyeon put a tall paper cup in front of her.

“Thanks,” a grateful smile formed on her lips. 

Yoohyeon took a seat in front of her but made no attempts to talk. They let the silence settle between them and looked outside the window instead. It felt peaceful, if only they could forget about the nudging feeling inside their head that’s begging for attention.

“Si-”

“Yoo-” They spoke at the same time. 

“You go first.”

“No, you can go first.”

“I’m sorry. I overreacted last time and… ignored you this whole time,” Yoohyeon said with a low voice, her eyes were looking straight at Siyeon. “I was surprised and didn’t know how to react to it. I’m really sorry.”

“I have to apologize to you too. I never meant to startle you. It’s-,” she paused, trying to think about the best possible way to share her thoughts. “I will not act on my feelings. I promise I will stay the same. If you are scared that it will change the way I treated you, don’t be. I understand your fear.” A smile of promise and reassurance was the only one she could offer.

It was painful to say, but it needed to be done. She steeled her heart so that she won’t break down in front of Yoohyeon. She will try her best to be happy, as long as she can still see Yoohyeon and be with her, although only as friends. She believed, now that she had poured her heart out in the open, she could eventually move on from this chapter of her life. She didn’t want to be a selfish friend who forced her feelings into others. It will be hard, she knows. But as Yubin usually says, this is life. She used to snicker when she heard Yubin say the phrase. Now she knew what’s on Yubin’s mind when she said it.

“No, Siyeon, that’s not it,” Yoohyeon objected to her argument. “I didn’t-, I just didn’t know how to react and it came off like that. I’m sorry.” Yoohyeon seemed conflicted, having trouble uttering her thoughts. 

“It’s alright, Yooh, you don’t need to stress yourself. I’m alright now, and I will be later.” She reached for Yoohyeon’s hand on the table and squeezed it, hoping to give Yoohyeon comfort as it did to her. “Now, smile okay? You look stupid when you’re stressed,” she tried to lift the mood. 

She considered it a success when Yoohyeon playfully pouted and hit her arm. The conversation they had after that was gradually getting warm, although they were still tiptoeing, afraid of crossing over another sensitive topic. She convinced herself that she will be okay, they will be okay, everything will be okay. She couldn’t handle another fight with Yoohyeon again. She reassured herself that she did it for her friends, their friendship, yes, that must be it.


	4. Chapter 4

“Singnie….. Sit here!” Minji tapped the space next to her on the couch.

“Wait, I’ll help Dongie get the snacks.” Minji pouted at her answer but let her go.

They were having a movie night at Minji and Handong’s apartment. They had planned it for a long time but only had the chance right now because of what happened between Yoohyeon and her. Yubin and Yoohyeon were busy preparing the drinks which mainly consisted of beers, a lot of it. On the other side of the room, Bora and Gahyeon were bickering about what movie they should watch for tonight. When she came back to the living room, they still hadn’t finished their bickering and it made her smile.

“Alright you two, move. Let me choose the movie,” She took the remote control to browse for the movie, leaving the two loud women agape. When she was about to type the title, someone snatched the remote.

“No, you will only watch Captain America for the hundredth time and we’re sick of it.” Gahyeon hid the remote behind her.

“Who said I was gonna watch Captain America?” She argued, trying to get the remote back.

“History said it. It’s either that or Avengers for you two, and I’m not having it.”

“Hey, Avengers is good, how dare you?” Bora felt offended. “Give it to me!” She jumped on Gahyeon and wrestled her for the remote. It was chaotic. They ended up pinning each other on the carpeted floor with none wanting to give up.

“No way.”

“Give…”

“No……” 

“Okay, enough!” Minji raised her voice, making the room quiet. 

She stood from her seat and held her palm out, asking for the remote from Gahyeon. She dejectedly complied and handed the remote to her. Bora wanted to say something but quickly backed out when she saw Minji’s glare. The rest of them who watched the scene snickered at the sight, including her. She saw Minji’s lips twitched, preventing a smile to form. It made Siyeon laugh wholeheartedly, hands clutched on her stomach, ignoring Minji and the rest of them who looked at her weirdly. It took a few long seconds for her laughter to subsides. When she stopped, she wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

“What?” Minji asked her.

“Huh? Oh, nothing. Come on, pick the movie so we can finally watch something,” she dismissed Minji’s question and plopped herself on the couch.

Her friends started to occupy the space on the couch with Bora sitting next to her. Yoohyeon sat on the other end of the couch while Yubin and Handong occupied the other couch. Minji sat on the carpeted floor in front of them, back resting in between her and Bora’s legs. Gahyeon, who didn’t find another seat, followed Minji to sit on the floor. While they were waiting for the movie to load, she and Yubin distributed the snack and drinks. Bora quickly snatched a bag of potato chips before she even held out her hands which made Minji shake her head. Yoohyeon smiled at her when she handed her a snack. When the movie started, the only sounds that could be heard was the sound of them munching on the snacks. 

Not long after, Minji rested her head on Siyeon’s thigh. She automatically combed her blonde hair and she could hear Minji’s contented sigh escaping her lips in between the movie’s dialogue. They stayed like that until she wanted to go to the bathroom. She gently moved Minji’s head and stood up. It garnered her friends’ attention and she smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, I need to pee,” she ran in the direction of the bathroom. 

After she finished, she passed by the kitchen and saw Yoohyeon there, pouring a glass of water.

“Thirsty?” 

Yoohyeon jumped a little and almost spilt all of her glass. “You startled me,” she put her free hand on her chest.

“Sorry,” she chuckled. She then reached for new glass and filled it in half. Yoohyeon was still rooted in her spot, drinking the rest of her water that's left on her glass. “You didn’t like the movie?” She asked again, filling the silence in the air.

“Not really, it’s just not my favourite.” She put the glass on the kitchen counter. “I’ll go back there,” she pointed to the living room using her thumb and turned around. When she was about to take the second step, she slipped on the puddle of water she spilt earlier. Siyeon reflexively reached out her hands, holding Yoohyeon’s hand and body before she hit the kitchen counter.

“Be careful!” She straightened Yoohyeon’s body. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, uh, yes, I think,” Yoohyeon answered in a daze.

“You can go back first, I’ll clean this up.” She backed away from Yoohyeon. “Don’t trip over your feet,” she smirked teasingly. 

“I won’t do that,” Yoohyeon pouted.

“It didn’t seem like it,” she raised her eyebrows which made Yoohyeon pout even more.

She scanned the kitchen for a mop but didn’t find any, so she rummaged the cupboards. After a while, she heard footsteps walking away from her and saw Yoohyeon going to the living room. She released a long exhale, trying to calm her heart. She cursed herself mentally for feeling that way. She promised that she would move on from her, but it’s easier said than done. These past few weeks, her relationship with Yoohyeon was getting better. Her friends were glad that they reconciled. Although there was still something amiss in it, she tried to act like she always did. 

She went back to the living room and saw Minji still sitting on the floor but now resting her head on Bora’s thigh. Only Yoohyeon noticed her arrival and sent her a small smile. She sat on her previous spot and fixed her focus on the movie, ignoring the fast beating of her heart.

***

"Did you see that guy's face?" They laughed, remembering their encounter with a guy who flirted with Minji at the grocery store, only to be pranked by her with an intimidating look and said that she's Minji's girlfriend. His confident smirk changed into confusion, disbelief, and dejected before he walked away with a small _oh, sorry._ She put the groceries on the kitchen counter and proceeded to help Minji organize it in the fridge. 

"I feel sorry for him," Minji said sympathetically but laughed nonetheless. When they were still laughing, the doorbell of Minji's apartment was ringing.

"Oh, I'll get that," Siyeon jumped to open the door. "Yoohyeon?"

"Siyeon, you're with Minji?" Yoohyeon asked, seemingly surprised that she found Siyeon in Minji's apartment.

"Uh, yeah, I met Minji at the grocery store and decided to help her a bit," she explained. "She's in the kitchen." She stepped aside to let Yoohyeon in and closed the door. 

“Yoohyeon, what brought you here?” Minji peeked from the kitchen.

“I’m just bored, and I need food.” Yoohyeon laughed. The sound of it rang beautifully on Siyeon’s ears. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“You just come to see me when you need food? What am I to you? Your personal chef?” Minji pretended to be hurt, putting her hands on her chest. Yoohyeon promptly ran and hugged Minji, telling her that she was just joking.

She observed their interaction from the corner smiling, resting her back against the wall. Seeing her friends interacting like this made her feel warm. It was a kind of precious time that she always appreciates and wants to keep forever. The small sacrifice she did was worth the outcome. She pushed herself off the wall and went to get her some juice she bought earlier. 

“What juice is that?” Yoohyeon asked when she just took a sip from her straw.

“Apple, why?”

“I want some,” Yoohyeon moved closer in front of her and made puppy eyes.

“I just bought one though,” she took a step back, distancing herself from Yoohyeon but careful not to offend her. Yoohyeon didn’t say anything but followed her, keeping their distance with her puppy eyes on. “Fine, here,” she shoved her box of juice to her and took another step back.

Yoohyeon’s eyes lit up and she jumped for joy. She looked like a kid who’s just got her favourite toy. Siyeon could see her dimples showing and it made her look cuter. Her eyes trailed to her lips, sipping the straw of the juice, and suddenly, a realization popped in her head, it was an indirect kiss. She felt her face warmer each passing second and forced herself to look away from Yoohyeon’s plump lips. She could hear her heart thumping fast and pray that no one could hear it aside herself. To distract her mind, she rummaged through the groceries, trying to find another food.

“Okay, I’ll cook, but you need to help me if you want to eat,” Minji said to Yoohyeon.

“But I can’t cook,” Yoohyeon pouted.

“I didn’t ask you to cook, I asked you to help me prepare the ingredients,” Minji said as she wore her apron. Yoohyeon who couldn’t escape from Minji’s demand could only pout even more and shoot her a look, asking Siyeon to save her. When she saw that, she burst out laughing. But her laughter didn’t last long, as Minji turned to her and asked, “Why are you laughing? Don’t think you can escape from it too.”

“But I didn’t ask for food,” she argued.

“It’s not like you won’t eat the food after I finish cooking. So,'' Minji handed her an apron that she didn’t know where she got it from. She scoffed but put it on nonetheless. Now, it’s Yoohyeon’s turn to laugh at her. Although, it quickly died down, replaced by a much deeper pout when Minji also gave her an apron.

They began to cut the vegetables and meat. Minji told Siyeon to cut the potatoes and Yoohyeon cut the onions while she prepared the meat. Siyeon got scolded by Minji when she chopped the potatoes in two like she’s cutting a log. And Yoohyeon on the other side of the kitchen started sobbing because of the onion. When their gazes were connected, they couldn’t help but smile, seeing how ridiculous they looked at that moment. To fill the silence, Minji told Yoohyeon what happened to her earlier in the grocery store.

“You should’ve seen that guy’s face when Siyeon told him that she is my girlfriend. It’s hilarious.” Minji laughed but didn’t take her eyes off the meat she’s currently chopping.

Siyeon looked at Yoohyeon who already finished cutting the onions and saw her laughing at Minji’s story. Although she couldn’t help but notice that her laughter seems a bit restrained and didn’t fully reach her eyes. She quickly brushed it off to finish cutting the potatoes. After they finished, Minji told them to wait in the living room as she continued cooking. 

Yoohyeon took off her apron and went to the living room in a flash, making her chuckle. They sat on the couch and let the comfortable silence settle in. She closed her eyes and rested her head. She opened her eyes when she heard Yoohyeon sighed.

"Tired?" She asked. 

After a second passed, Yoohyeon only nodded her head while staring off the wall. Siyeon's lips curved upwards. She tapped her thighs, offering Yoohyeon to rest her head on it. Without hesitation, she plopped her head and let out a contented exhale. She felt Siyeon's hand combing her hair, pulling her to the dreamland.


	5. Chapter 5

She groaned loudly, resting her forehead on the table. The client of hers was 'extraordinary', to say the least, and made her head want to blow up. As much as she loves her job, it's the people in it that made her second-guessing her love for it. She badly needed a distraction right now or she would go crazy. 

She sent a message asking if her friends were free and waited. Minji and Bora replied first, followed by Yoohyeon who said they're free for the night while the others said that they were busy. They agreed to go clubbing for tonight. It had been too long since the last time they went there. Now that it's all decided, she should focus on her job at the moment. It made her groan for the second time. But it's alright, she would get her well-deserved break later tonight. And with that thought, she went back to her works.

*

"Freeedoooomm!!" Bora shouted as soon as they got out of the car. "Come on, Singnie. We're going to go wild tonight," Bora exclaimed happily and dragged her to the entrance.

"By we, you mean yourself, right?" Minji snickered from behind them.

"Don't act like you won't do it, Minji. You love it too," Bora winked at her.

When they got in, the loud music and sea of people dancing greeted them. She needed a moment to adjust to the noise and the dim lighting. They went straight to the bar, feeling the need of having a booster before they hit the dance floor. She bobbed her head to the beat of the music while sipping on her poison. The club was packed. She saw people making out everywhere she looks. Some of the men even groped their women while grinding their hips. She quickly looked away and focused on her friends instead.

Bora and Minji already disappeared into the dance floor and she could only make out Minji's bright hair with Bora nowhere in sight. She sighed, those two were always like that. She shouldn't be surprised at this point. On her right, it seemed like Yoohyeon was doing the same and when they looked at each other, they chuckled. _Nothing new_. She got back to her drinks, savouring the bitter, sweet, and sour taste combining into one. The taste sent her senses on alert. Her head started to feel lighter and she could feel the buzz of the alcohol in her bloodstream.

She downed her drink in one go and asked the bartender to give her another. She didn't plan to go drunk tonight but a glass was not enough. While she waited for her drinks, she decided to make a conversation with Yoohyeon. With a swift motion, she turned to Yoohyeon's direction. She opened her mouth to talk but no words came out of her. In front of her, Yoohyeon was talking to a man, probably around her age. She was watching them, picking up the signs whether Yoohyeon wanted to be saved or not. The man was getting closer with each passing second, and it made her skin crawl when she saw Yoohyeon didn't budge from her seat. The man put his hand on Yoohyeon's hip while whispering something to her that made Yoohyeon smirked. She felt her blood boiling at the sight. Yoohyeon seemed to enjoy his presence and forgot that she's here. Clack on the table made her look away from the infuriating view. She saw the bartender eyeing her and leaned her body closer.

"Here, it’s on the house. You look like you need it so bad." She said flirtatiously.

"You're attentive, and I'm not one to turn down a free drink, especially from a pretty lady." She spoke with the same intensity. The smirk on her face grew and she raised her brow. She needed a distraction from Yoohyeon, and the bartender gave it to her for free. Talked about perfect timing.

"Say, my break is in five minutes. If, you know," she shrugged, "You want me to help you release the tension in your body. I'm proud to say that it's my other speciality, other than making the best drink of course." She said suggestively while running her fingers on Siyeon's arm on the counter.

"Do you always offer special treatment to your customers?" She challengingly asked, her smirk only grew wider.

"Only to beautiful women like yourself. So, what do you say?" The bartender bit her lower lips.

On other occasions, she would give her a hard no, even with alcohol running on her stream. Now, all she thinks about was how to forget the aching beats in her chest. She came here to let herself loose after all, not adding more pressure to her already tired mind. She glanced at Yoohyeon briefly and saw her still preoccupied with the same man. Her hand formed a fist and she's more determined than before. 

"That sounds amazing," she replied to the bartender. If she wanted to let loose, she might as well go all the way. Any regret that might come after this, she would deal with them later. Now, she's busy. 

“I’ll be back, beautiful.” The bartender winked and went to serve another customer.

*

She opened the door of the staff room and stopped in front of the mirror just outside the door. A quick scan of her reflection informed her that she should straighten out her clothes. She then smoothed her hair that’s sticking out of place. Throwing one last look at her reflection and feeling that she was decent enough, she went to look for her friends. Yoohyeon wasn’t at the bar and she couldn’t find Minji’s bright hair on the dance floor. She checked her phone and found Minji’s text, saying that they were at the VIP room upstairs.

She weaved her body through the sea of sweaty people with ease. The alcohol she drank earlier seemed to enhance her agility, or maybe she’s just dizzy. There she found her friends, sitting on the couch. Bora clung onto Minji and nuzzled on her neck like a koala, a habit of hers when she’s drunk. On the other end of the couch, Yoohyeon sat idly, a glass of liquor rested in her hands. She zoned off, feet swaying to the beat of the music. She seemed unbothered by the sounds that Minji made when Bora kept nuzzling on her neck. Siyeon reached for a glass and poured herself a glass of whiskey from the table. Just then, Yoohyeon snapped from her trance, eyeing her from head to toe.

She shrugged it off and sipped her drinks. She didn’t feel like talking to her and didn’t feel the need to. She went to the glass railing that’s facing down directly to the dance floor and leaned her hands on it. She watched the people below her constantly moving all over the place, and it made her dizzier. Her mind travelled everywhere but she stopped to think deeper about the reason she was here in the first place. 

She was here to unwind, yes, that’s her main reason. She wanted to escape from her stressful work and thoughts, but she somewhat felt that she didn’t achieve it. She often wondered, how could people move on so easily from their loved ones. She wanted to know how they do it? The sight of Yoohyeon talking with a random guy earlier ignited the feelings that she had wanted to bury since day one. She was angry, with herself and Yoohyeon. She knew it’s not Yoohyeon’s fault that she didn’t like Siyeon back, but the fact didn’t make her heart hurt less.

“Ugh,” she groaned and buried her head in between her hands. “Make it disappear, please,” she pleaded to no one. 

Her series of thoughts were interrupted by a loud moan coming from behind. She searched for the source of the sounds and found that her two friends had turned their nuzzling session into a full-blown make-out session. Yoohyeon, who was unbothered earlier, now rolled her eyes at both of her friends who seemingly immersed in what they were doing at the moment. Bora started to roam her hands all over Minji and Minji mirrored her. She decided that it’s enough and needed to interfere before they shamelessly having sex here in front of her.

“Hey, hey, Bora, Minji,” she called them and put her hands on Bora’s shoulder, trying to pull her from Minji gently. “Let’s get you two home, okay?” She added. Bora swatted her hands away, not minding her irritated expression. She looked at Yoohyeon, silently asking for help but she also got ignored. “Great,” she mumbled.

It took another set of persuasions before she could separate her friends and dragged them home. The trip to her car was longer than it was supposed to be, but she was glad that Yoohyeon decided to help her by carrying Minji. She dropped Minji at Bora’s place because she kept whining about not being able to be separated from Bora. When they were alone, the feeling of being ignored by Yoohyeon grew stronger. She knew that Yoohyeon was not drunk, nor was she because drunk Yoohyeon is clingy and noisy. They arrived at Yoohyeon’s house and got out of the car.

“Are you okay?” she asked, couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Yoohyeon answered her snarkily, and it surprised her.

“You’re definitely not okay. Why are you suddenly angry at me?”She felt anger and confusion rose in her chest. She was not in her best state of mind to cope up with Yoohyeon’s attitude right now.

“Suddenly?” Yoohyeon’s voice went higher. “I can’t believe this,” she added with an irritated whisper and an eye roll.

“Maybe if you give me an explanation of your attitude, I will understand better. But you don’t, so how can I know what mistake I made?” She scoffed. She couldn’t understand the cause of Yoohyeon’s anger and she had no patience left to think about it further.

“Forget it, an idiot like you won’t understand.” Yoohyeon shoved her and walked to her house. 

“What is wrong with you?” She held Yoohyeon’s wrist, stopping her from fleeing. However, Yoohyeon swatted her hand away and kept walking. “Wait!” She called her. “Yoohyeon, wait!” she followed her inside. She felt a bit relieved that Yoohyeon’s house was far from her neighbours or she’s sure that somebody would report her for a public disturbance at two in the morning. She reached for her hand once more and succeeded to make Yoohyeon turn around. 

“Yooh-” she stopped talking when she saw Yoohyeon’s eyes glistening with tears. “Hey, I’m sorry, did I pull you too hard? Are you hurt? Hey, talk to me,” she pleaded. Her hands instinctively wiped Yoohyeon’s tears.

“You idiot! Stupid idiot!” Yoohyeon sobbed and emphasized each of her words with a hit on Siyeon’s shoulder. She caught her hands, in an attempt to stop her assault, and brought her into a hug. She didn't know what to do to make her calm down. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t cry,” she whispered in Yoohyeon’s ear and stroked her silky hair. She tightened her other hand around her, hoping that Yoohyeon could feel her hug more.

Yoohyeon was still hitting her weakly. Her sobs were getting louder on her shoulder where she felt it wet from her tears. She swayed their bodies gently and continued to whisper calming words. When her sobs died down, Siyeon released Yoohyeon from her hug. In the cold light of the living room, she could see Yoohyeon's red cheeks from her cries and probably alcohol. Yoohyeon kept her head low and refused to look at her no matter how many times she told her to.

"Let's tuck you in, we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" she persuaded her. 

The resistance that Yoohyeon showed earlier was nowhere to be found. All she could see was the quiet and fragile Yoohyeon that she wanted to protect at all costs. In the bedroom, she sat Yoohyeon down and helped her to take off her shoes. She pulled a set of Yoohyeon's pyjamas from her closet and then brought cotton and makeup remover. Yoohyeon only followed her movement with her eyes, unmoving. She plopped herself down on the bed, next to Yoohyeon, and turned Yoohyeon's body around so that she could remove her makeup.

She started from Yoohyeon's forehead, down to her cheeks then to her nose and her chin. She came back up again to clean her eyes, wiping it gently with another hand under Yoohyeon's chin to support her. Lastly, she went to clean her lips. The lipstick that Yoohyeon wore earlier was fading. She parted her lips to make it easier for Siyeon to clean it, but it distracted her instead. Yoohyeon's lips were plump and soft on her fingers. She slowed down her pace intentionally just to feel her lips longer. Maybe it's the alcohol talking, but the way Yoohyeon parted her lips was so sensual in Siyeon's eyes and sent a wave down to her core. She unconsciously gulped and bit her lower lips when she wiped Yoohyeon's lips for the last time.

She didn't notice that Yoohyeon was looking at her the entire time until she looked up from her lips. Her eyes went wide in shock, and she tried to mask her state by clearing her throat that didn't feel the slightest bit itchy. She quickly looked away, gathering the used cotton and the makeup remover. Her mind went into a panic mode, afraid of what Yoohyeon would do or say.

"I'm gonna throw this away," she hastily said and got up. She didn't get the chance to take a step away because Yoohyeon pulled her back to sit. "Y-Yoohyeon," she stuttered.

"Siyeon," Yoohyeon called her, leaning her body closer. 

She leaned back to keep her distance but Yoohyeon kept getting closer. She used her free hand to support her from falling but she slipped and ended up laying down, legs dangling on the edge of the bed. Yoohyeon immediately hovered over her, with hands trapping her body securely. She froze, looking straight at Yoohyeon's eyes. She's wondering about what's happening here? Her heart palpitated, drumming against her ribcage. Yoohyeon's eyes scanned her face and Siyeon noticed that she stopped on her lips.

"Yoo-" her call was silenced by a pair of soft lips on her own. 

Everything around her went still and her breath hitched on her throat. A few moments passed and she could feel Yoohyeon moved her lips, nibbling on her bottom one, asking for a response. Her mind went haywire and she closed her eyes. Yoohyeon continued her effort, now nibbling on Siyeon’s upper lips, occasionally licking it. Her moves made Siyeon unconsciously parted her lips, allowing Yoohyeon to deepen the kiss. This felt surreal for her, knowing that she could finally kiss the lips she wanted the most. They broke the kiss in search for air, chest heaving up and down. When she opened her eyes, she met with a pair of dark brown eyes staring right at her.

"You're so beautiful," Yoohyeon whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from Siyeon's face and lingered her fingers on Siyeon's cheek. 

"Yoohyeon, please, don't play with me," she pleaded. 

As much as she loved the kiss, she couldn't bear to have another heartbreak anymore or she would break for real. She had tried her best to erase and forget her feelings for Yoohyeon, but what she did earlier made everything even harder. If Yoohyeon just kissed her because of alcohol influence, she might regret it tomorrow and, maybe, brush it off easily. But not with Siyeon. 

"It's true, I'm not playing with you," Yoohyeon brushed her thumb over her lips. "You're beautiful."

"Please, Yooh, you know what I meant," her voice was low and fragile, a single tear rolled down her cheek. Yoohyeon’s fingers moved to wipe it from the corner of her eyes.

“I like you, Siyeon. I’m an idiot for denying my feelings for so long. I was scared of everything. I thought we were better off as friends, but I’m wrong. I wanted to punch those women who got to touch you as they please, it should be me!” Yoohyeon’s hand balled into a fist as if it could prevent her tears from falling. She got up and hid her face on her hands. “I’m pathetic.”

Siyeon shot herself up after the revelation. It made all of Yoohyeon’s traits these last few weeks finally make sense for her. From the movie night, cooking at Minji’s kitchen, and tonight at the club. She likes Siyeon back. She couldn't believe what she heard, but Yoohyeon's state said that it's true.

"Hey," she moved closer to remove Yoohyeon's hands from her face. "You're not pathetic. You never were. Look at me," she commanded, gently lifting Yoohyeon's chin using her index finger. “You are the most beautiful, smartest, and kindest woman I’ve known,” she said in a serious tone. “Well, if you don’t count me, Gahyeon or Minji, that is,” she added playfully, earning a shove from Yoohyeon. She wrapped her palms on her hands and brought them closer together. “Don’t ever say anything like that, okay?” she looked straight at Yoohyeon’s eyes. 

“But I’m a bad person, coward and-” Yoohyeon rambled.

“I told you to never say that,” Siyeon cut her off. “So, Kim Yoohyeon, do you really like me back?” She couldn’t help but ask that question, fearing that it was just her brain playing a trick on her.

"Yes," Yoohyeon looked away from her. She could see Yoohyeon's flustered cheek, but she didn't know if it's from the alcohol earlier or her question.

"Really?" she arched her brows, slightly amused by Yoohyeon's reaction.

"Y-yes," Yoohyeon’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. 

Siyeon engulfed her in a tight hug that made Yoohyeon freeze, but she immediately relaxed and buried her face in the crook of Siyeon’s neck, inhaling Siyeon’s scent. From this proximity, Siyeon could smell Yoohyeon's fresh shampoo mixed with her natural scent. Her ever favourite scent, if someone asked her. But after a while, Yoohyeon shoved her almost forcefully, her face scrunched in annoyance.

"Wha-"

"But you left me earlier, I'm still hurt."

Siyeon's mouth was agape. Disbelief, amusement and embarrassment twirled inside her mind. She was left speechless by Yoohyeon.

"Hold on, I didn't do anything with her. We just kissed once, nothing more happened, I swear!"

"You lie," Yoohyeon didn't believe her, and she understood why. The bartender's intention was indeed to go further than kissing and it's as clear as day.

"I don't. She was, um… we were about to go further but I chickened out, and she slapped me." Her hand touched the side of her cheek where the bartender had slapped her earlier. It didn't sting anymore but she could still feel the ghost of the bartender's hand on it.

Yoohyeon's gaze turned softer and brushed one of her thumbs on its surface. "Does it still hurt?" She asked with a tone softer than usual. 

Siyeon only shook her head as an answer, eyes focusing on Yoohyeon's one. She could see Yoohyeon examined her cheek closely, trailing down from her cheekbone to the edge of her lips and stopped there. She looked up to Siyeon's eyes once more silently asking for permission but she didn't have to, as if she had the will to refuse her. When she saw Siyeon's consent, Yoohyeon dived straight to her lips hungrily. They close their eyes, succumbing into the kiss with their instinct. Their tongue danced in synchronized movement with the hushed voice that came out of their mouth as the music. Their hands explored uncharted territories, mapping each other passionately. The world around them became insignificant, thoughts solely present, yet fleeting, at the moment. And Siyeon couldn't be more grateful for the alcohol she drank earlier. It gave her a boost of confidence that she would rarely have in her more sober self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, that's it XD. It's a bit long for a one-shot, so I divided it into five chapters. I originally wanted it to be shorter but my fingers keep typing and I can't stop it. I hope you like this fic. Anyway, tell me what you think because feedback is always appreciated, or you can leave it here on [my CC](https://curiouscat.qa/xKasz).


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